Never stop dreaming and believing

Hello there,

I know I was inactive for more than a year, but it’s only due to my personality and my health problems – vegetative dystonia. All this time I was struggling, but all in all I feel better now, but anyway it’s still a long way to go to recover fully. I don’t want to think about what I went through, but what I want to achieve and do in my further life.

When You have almost none close person You fully trust, it’s sometimes hard to live, but I do believe in God and my dreams. When im ready to break-down, I return to my dreams and refill my motivation.

I am using pharmaceutical drugs and psychotherapy on my recovery process and I feel a little bit better now, less panic attacks and more inspiring thoughts will bring me back on the track.

I want to say “thank’s” to everyone here on WordPress who inspired me and are sending me good thoughts and wishes.  Appreciate all of them. I would like to hear something about You, dear reader. What have you achieved during last year and what are your aims for this year. Share on the comment section down below and achieve them together.


From collapse of Anorexia to University

Hello everyone!

It’s been a while since I published my last post, this time was fillled with a lot of thoughts about my future, how can I improve the quality of life for others and what should I do to make that happen.

Today I want to share with You one story I found pretty similar as mine.. As far as I think it’s almost impossible to find the story same as mine, I find this pretty close..

It’s Katie’s story.. She is 21 now and she is studying Creative Writing at Cumbria University. This is something great, but everything was not before she started to study.
She also struggled with anorexia when she was 14. She was the only girl in the class of four where three of them were hormone-raging teen boys.
Stress multiplied in her life when her parents told their marriage was in trouble.

She found that almost nothing is right in her life and hoped that losing some weight and improving fitness would make things about to change. She assumed that thin people have amazing lives and she wanted that one for herself as well.

She cut out fats, carbs and dairy and lived on rice cakes, apples and lettuce. She became addicted. “Nothing mattered more than satisfying the mystery voice’s need for weight loss and perfection.


Her weight dropped from 8.5st to under fell out,  skin cracked and bled, bones ached and her periods stopped. “But I still didn’t believe I was thin enough. When I looked in the mirror, a mound of blubber stared back.”

Eventually, she collapsed and ended up in hospital after having a minor heart attack while riding a bike. She was admitted to a psychiatric ward in a hospital in Middlesbrough, where where she stayed for the next nine months. After that – she started to eat one again, but her recovery was slow. Also as mine actually was. She received a lot of support from her family.
She have had a couple of relapses, but five years on she is fully recovered, with few long-lasting effects. Also her periods have come back so she can have children. And this is amazing in my opinion, because this experienced and awesome lady will be awesome mother even just because she experienced problem which is left in a shadow for a lot of times… A problem, from which suffer around 3% of population.

“Aim to live every day as though it’s your last and not submit to anorexia. Try to defeat anorexia before it defeats you. Always remember that help is out there.” – Katie

Comment from me: Katie’ s story is quite inspiring, I’m glad she can have kids now and she is able to live better life even those long-lasting effects no one who haven’t suffered from anorexia won’t understand. Keep going, Katie! 🙂

Make the best from Your day, dear reader! Trust Yourself that You can beat whatever You desire and You can help and inspire a lot of others. Don’t forget that.

How to improve our decisions?

Hello everyone!

Yesterday I found an article about our brains and how actually the lottery messes with our heads and how to take control over it and apply for Your life in useful way.

Have You ever thought of being rich? Me, too. And that’s why people buy lottery tickets even when the odds are quite terrible. For example, the odds of winning Powerball went one in 293 million. Sounds possible? As one website says:
Humans, it turns out, can’t deal well with odds that are very small. Instead, we rely on something else — whether we can picture the outcome. If we can see it in our mind, we think it’s more likely. If we can’t picture it, we think it’s unlikely.

You can clearly imagine those 10 luxury cars in Your garage, that cottage with golden balcony near ocean. This is not so hard to do, as a result You are making Your way to the kiosk where You are still dreaming about Your future house and You buy 5.. maybe 10 tickets. As a result lottery messes with Your head. In this case – most of times You will lose..

Another example.. People stress about airline crashes far more than is rational, because whenever one happens, they’re on the news. The chance of dying on your flight may be one in five million but the image of an airline crash is easy to bring to mind.


But You can turn this trick from the opposite side.. Try to imagine something not always based only on feelings, but also connect Your mind. Probably, saying no to that “something” in Your mind. Another example.. You would like to buy a lot of cigarettes, because they are cheaper and You imagine how You will smoke them for next 2 weeks, but in our case try to visualise throwing them away in Your mind, so You probably will be less willing to smoke. Visualise how could You spend Your money better.. another opportunity.

Or next time you’re thinking about buying a lotto ticket, visualise scrunching up your ticket in disappointment. It could save you a bunch of money.
With this all I wanted to say that not always people should act like a loser and at the end of the event be that one. Everyone can visualise. All You need is a bit of time and commitment. Commitment – You won’t lose money on lottery tickets, but You will achieve Your dreams of golden cottage in a more realistic way than trying to beat the odds of winning Powerball. It’s up to You.

P.S. I’m planning on going to the Sweden and study there (it’s just an idea here, but I will apply and see If I will get accepted) and that’s why I wanted to ask You, dear reader, maybe You know someone from Sweden (city Örebro) who could offer a room for a few months? Of course I can ask that university for dorm as well, but I hope to find a bit cheaper variant (hopefully cheaper). Would appreciate if You could share this or think about someone from Your friends list or just someone You know is living there. Anyway, thank’s a lot.

Choose Your words wisely

Hello everyone,

We are now in 2016 and that means we continue to be great and to behave great.

Today I would like to pay Your attention on what You are saying in daily routine and how can it affect others.


This is my friend Marc. He was also suffering from anorexia before a few years. He suffered from childhood bullying and as a result phobia appeared of panic attacks when confronted with meal.
Marc says: “When I was 14 I also was tormented by bullies who called me fat. As a result, I got incredibly skinny.”
In this case – his family supported him a lot. I’m glad he has such an amazing parents and I can say that he is almost fine today and I guess happy as well. Why I’m so glad? Because there’s still a lot of stigma and misunderstanding because the majority of eating disorders occur in females and men are ashamed to come forward and admit they have a problem.
And I agree. Because when I was facing this, I felt that no one actually knew what to do. Plus I had not a common features and it made it totally unique and difficult to cure.

But what I wanted to say is that You should think about what You are saying in each situation. Your words can be as a deadly weapon, but at the same time Your words can help to recover someone. You are able to kill someone just by Your words and You are able to give another birthday for someone. In Marc’s case his family helped a lot, in my case that mysterious girl Sintija appeared and just by words in the letter motivated me.

Why would You need to say to someone that he or she is fat? You don’t know.. maybe that “You are fat” from Your mouth would be the very first words for that person he/she would hear for last two months about himself/herself.. Bullying someone is the same as being murderer.. because You actually are destroying that person. Would You like to be called, for example, fat cow? Think about this. I guess You don’t want to be called like this, so You need to accept that others are not willing to hear this one as well. Thank You!

Anorexia – how it changed my life


It’s not so long time ago when I posted my first blog post here, but the aim of this blog is to show you what I went through and how I live now. As you probably noticed from the headline – the story will be about anorexia.

I guess everyone is heard at least once what is anorexia about. If no, then I will explain. Typical explanation would be: anorexia is an eating disorder characterized by a low weight, fear of gaining weight, a strong desire to be thin, and food restriction. Anyway, I had nothing about fear of gaining weight or strong desire of being thin. Nothing like that. It would be awesome if I could get some weight, but it didn’t happen. Actually it was fear of vomiting. That would be the best explanation in this case. In the very beginning I was just afraid, but later – it was not possible for me to eat anything. I did not want to eat not even of fears but there was not physiologic willingness. Maybe that’s why I was the first person in doctors life with these symptoms.. just because I had not common features. That’s why I felt so alone in whole world. I started to lose weight and at my lowest point I weighted only 30 kg which was amazingly low weight and at any time I could die. (more…)