Choose Your words wisely


Hello everyone,

We are now in 2016 and that means we continue to be great and to behave great.

Today I would like to pay Your attention on what You are saying in daily routine and how can it affect others.

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This is my friend Marc. He was also suffering from anorexia before a few years. He suffered from childhood bullying and as a result phobia appeared of panic attacks when confronted with meal.
Marc says: “When I was 14 I also was tormented by bullies who called me fat. As a result, I got incredibly skinny.”
In this case – his family supported him a lot. I’m glad he has such an amazing parents and I can say that he is almost fine today and I guess happy as well. Why I’m so glad? Because there’s still a lot of stigma and misunderstanding because the majority of eating disorders occur in females and men are ashamed to come forward and admit they have a problem.
And I agree. Because when I was facing this, I felt that no one actually knew what to do. Plus I had not a common features and it made it totally unique and difficult to cure.

But what I wanted to say is that You should think about what You are saying in each situation. Your words can be as a deadly weapon, but at the same time Your words can help to recover someone. You are able to kill someone just by Your words and You are able to give another birthday for someone. In Marc’s case his family helped a lot, in my case that mysterious girl Sintija appeared and just by words in the letter motivated me.

Why would You need to say to someone that he or she is fat? You don’t know.. maybe that “You are fat” from Your mouth would be the very first words for that person he/she would hear for last two months about himself/herself.. Bullying someone is the same as being murderer.. because You actually are destroying that person. Would You like to be called, for example, fat cow? Think about this. I guess You don’t want to be called like this, so You need to accept that others are not willing to hear this one as well. Thank You!

63 comments

  2. Words can hurt and destroy a person. Choosing your words wisely can lift up a humans spirit. Seek to help not destroy those you come in contact with everyday.

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  3. Thank you for the vital support you are offering to people who are struggling. I experienced bullying as a child. As grown adults we can learn to hold our own opinion and God’s opinion as our ultimate authority, but these are skills we haven’t learned yet as children or adolescents. I STILL see ways that I limit myself – based on dis-empowering messages cast upon me as a child. The good news is that what we see as broken, God sees as an opening to draw us near. in lak’ech, Debra

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    1. Hi, thank’s for leaving a comment and those kind words! I’m here to try my best whatever it takes. Best wishes for You and Your family! 🙂

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  6. It wasn’t called bullying when I was a kid, but it most certainly was. Teen girls go through that awkward stage between 12 and 15 often gaining weight, looking a bit round, and other symptoms of merging teenagers. What’s more, what do you do when it comes from those who are suppose to love you and defend you, like brothers. Fatty, fatty, two by four, can’t fit through the kitchen door. Lardo. Fat lip. Did they really mean to hurt, perhaps not, but they did. In spite of the tears, in spite of pleading and begging for them to stop, they didn’t. But at 15 when the clumsy, awkward stage ended and a butterfly emerged….well, eat their words they did. Served them right when they found out the guys hanging around, that they thought were true friends, were really there to see if they could get aqquainted with their so cute sister. It was a real blow to their ego. Were they forgiven…of course. But it didn’t undo the pain that had been felt and it didn’t take away the fear of rejection, the fear of still being the ugly duckling. It didn’t let that little fat girl really emerge from her cacoon with confidense and security. Did she ever get over it. Not really. In the back of her mind she was still always fat, homely, and undesireable. Fifty years or so down the road….the hurt stays. So this article really tells the truth. Be careful what you say. Be aware of what you might be doing to someone. Consider how it would make you feel if someone said those words to you. Think, Think, Think. That’s the key along with respect for another’s feelings. Thanks for posting this post and thanks for listening. I hope others can see from what you say and what I’ve added that your post is so worth while.

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    1. Thank’s a alot for sharing Your story. It’s hardly to believe what You went through, but what I know is that You have made Your way through these difficulties. Probably painful to remember, but You can’t actually believe in someone for 100%. It would be nice if You could believe in, for example, loved one, but.. one day even loved one can throw the sharpest knife in Your back.
      Thank’s for reading this story and keep living and enjoying every day of Your awesome life! 🙂

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  11. I’ve heard that it takes 10 compliments to counter one insult. I would believe that some insults are weighted more heavily than others.

    May you have a very happy, prosperous new year!

    Cheers!

    Jules

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  12. Great article on the topic. I got chills down my spine when I read the word “…maybe that “You are fat” from Your mouth would be the very first words for that person he/she would hear for last two months about himself/herself.. Bullying someone is the same as being murderer..”
    So true. I have always been a fat kid and have been called a lot of names over the years. In my case though, it helped me grow stronger as a person. But some people are more sensitive than others. I just hope people would concentrate more on themselves and their own lives than on poking their nose needlessly into other’s businesses.
    Great article. I hope the message gets through to more people.

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    1. Hi. Thank’s for visitng my blog and reading this post.
      Don’t take those words about Yourself personal. If we would take what everyone says personal, then that would not be our life. As I like to say: There are two types of people – first one who enjoy my companionship and me as well, but second type include those who can walk on the other side of the street and do what they think are the best. Cheers! 🙂

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    1. Hi, Miriam. I’m so sorry about this. I guess Your friend now lives in a better place. I’m with all my heart with You and Your friend. Everything will be fine, keep doing what You love the most and Your friend will be proud of You for sure. Best wishes and hugs! 🙂

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  14. First off, thanks for stopping by my business blog, liking & following. Secondly & more importantly TY for the inspiring words you share with readers. “Your words can be as a deadly weapon, but at the same time Your words can help to recover someone” So true. Words are not merely utterances or a series of letters written together. To me they are the tools of my trade so I understand their power to do good or bad. Keep writing, keep experiencing life and no doubt you will be an inspiration to someone else just as that girl was to you.

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    1. Hi, Anthony! It was such a pleasure to read Your blog and something more about You. Thank You for thise kind words. I see You as an inspiration as well… doing something that You actually love for so long.. In Your case – being a journalist. It would be amazing for me to as k You a few questions somewhere… would be pretty interesting to talk with You.
      Best wishes. 🙂

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  16. Young people especially can be fragile, and easily injured by casual criticism. The issue you mention in terms of eating disorders in young men applies to abuse, as well. Think of the altar boys victimized in the Catholic Church sex scandal. There is a proverb that goes something like this: “The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, but the words of the wise bring healing.” We could all do with a little kindness.

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  18. Words are incredibly powerful with the capability to make or break emotions, self-image, etc. We cannot over-emphasize the need to be careful in dishing out what you think about others. Some call it being blunt, I call it being insensitive. A simple yet helpful check: run whatever your opinions are in your head first before uttering them. If toxic and humiliating, no need to utter them. But if beautiful and uplifting, then by all means, go ahead and say them.

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  19. Very true…. as said ,’not that which goes into your mouth is bad, but that which comes out of your mouth’ so it’s good we think before we talk. since what’s said is not reversible… no matter how much you may try to unsay it or apologise!.

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  20. Like you said it is so rare to hear about a male suffering with Anorexia. You are doing an amazing thing by bringing this message and the feelings associated with it to your readers. I greatly appreciate your openness and honesty. Because of you someone else suffering with this might not feel so alone. Good work!

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    1. Hi, thank’s for leaving a comment here. 🙂
      I hope that my posts will read not only peope who are not suffering with this, but also someone who can find himself/herself in similar situation and find his/her own way through these difficulties. 🙂 Best wishes.

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    1. Hi. Thank’s a lot for commenting. Every story of mine is personal and hopefully with potential to help someone. By the way – You have such an amazing blog as well, absolutely worth visiting. 🙂

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  22. The wisest man of all, Solomon, said, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21) It’s so true.
    I grew up extremely hunchbacked, and kids (insecure and frightened most of the time) can be the most cruel of all with words. I learned early on who I was through my relationship to God, and that helped me put hurtful words in their right perspective. I’m sorry that you and Marc have struggled not only with eating disorders, but the lack of understanding that men with such issues face. More power to you, as you help sensitize others!

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    1. Hi, Stephanie! Sorry for this late reply!
      Your comment is amazing! Thank’s for those sweet words. You know You cannot give up just because You think others could laugh.. it’s not Your fault. Start being Yourself (but not ruining relationship with God) and You will find a lot of who will love You just the way You are. Keep up doing things that make You smile. 🙂

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  23. Thanks for the follow. Love your blog, love your spirit to love one another. We should be nicer to each other and make a better world for everyone.

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  24. I’ve been overweight most of my life. When I was in middle school, I was teased mercilessly about it. As a result, I hid myself away from people and retreated into myself. I, too, began having anxiety attacks. Terrible ones. They last even until today. There is such a stigma about weight in our country. It’s so easy to dismiss people who are fat and to verbally chastise and abuse them (us). I never suffered from anorexia. My shame manifests in other ways, but I can empathize with your friend–with anyone suffering really. I still sea with it. I may always deal with it. I don’t know. But hearing other people’s stories gives me a new desire to, somehow, change things.

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    1. Hi, Jason! Sorry for this late reply.
      You can’t give up just because You have been overweight most of Your life. You deserve enjoy success, love and happiness. Don’t hide Yourself, show Your feelings and intentions and people will start loving You. Those who not – it’s not Your fault. But there will be a lot who will.
      Jason, You can count on me! Best wishes and keep in touch! 🙂

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  27. This is a great post and it really speaks volumes. Some people are so mean because they are nursing their own securities. Such a shame. Kudos for giving voice to such a prevalent issue in our society!

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  28. Thanks for sharing this, I personally agree with you, sometimes words can be as sharp as a sword to kill someone, and the murderer don’t realize he just killed someone slowly. We need more positive auras to be nurtured into this modern world.

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