Anorexia – how it changed my life


Hi!

It’s not so long time ago when I posted my first blog post here, but the aim of this blog is to show you what I went through and how I live now. As you probably noticed from the headline – the story will be about anorexia.

I guess everyone is heard at least once what is anorexia about. If no, then I will explain. Typical explanation would be: anorexia is an eating disorder characterized by a low weight, fear of gaining weight, a strong desire to be thin, and food restriction. Anyway, I had nothing about fear of gaining weight or strong desire of being thin. Nothing like that. It would be awesome if I could get some weight, but it didn’t happen. Actually it was fear of vomiting. That would be the best explanation in this case. In the very beginning I was just afraid, but later – it was not possible for me to eat anything. I did not want to eat not even of fears but there was not physiologic willingness. Maybe that’s why I was the first person in doctors life with these symptoms.. just because I had not common features. That’s why I felt so alone in whole world. I started to lose weight and at my lowest point I weighted only 30 kg which was amazingly low weight and at any time I could die.

There were very many days when I woke up and saw that I’m in hospital, but was dreaming that I’m at home. That was disappointment. I was really depressed and I had suicidal thoughts and was ready at any time make that one. I hoped that there would appear a person who would say: hei, you are really necessary in this world. In the very beginning it didn’t happen at all.. and next 8 months as well. I was so alone. I felt that way. Doctors tried to do something, but I think that was not the main reason I survived. Doctors did not expect for me to survive because the way I was going all those 8 months.. They warned me: Uldis, you could die at any single moment.. and it was okei for me, just because I felt alone and did not see the aim to live anymore. I was depressed all those 8 months.. every single hour was the same as all others.

Then came Christmas.. when wonders happen. My class teacher organised all class to write me the letter, felicitation wishing me happy Christmas. That was really cute but there was one person’s text that touched my heart. I would like to quote that one: Uldis, wish you merry Christmas, good health, and progress, and we all wait you back at school, buddy.” The author was a girl  – Sintija. The girl, who was not included in my classmate list as I noticed it later. I have seen her for a week at class 8th. That’s truly amazing how cute and friendly could be the person even knows you for a week. That mysterious girl appeared there and motivated me. She was the main reason I survived. I haven’t met her yet even tried to find here to say big “thank you”. Sintija, if You ever read this, I wanna say that You are my savior, the person who changed me as a person and set a motivation for me. After Your message in Christmas letter I decided to change my life, not to give up just because really wanted to leave a hospital, meet You and say “thank You”. As a result, after 1 month I left hospital as motivated and maybe the most progressive human in hospital’s history. In one month I gain enough weight to leave the hospital and continue recovery process at home. The recovery process was tough and hard… even I did not return that year at school.. next year I joined another class and continued there. Just because of you, Sintija, I reached an aim to graduate the school with average mark more that 9.. I finished with 9.4 from 10. In that moment, I was so happy, that satisfaction was amazing. That satisfaction was about You, Sintija. You helped me to reach that.

Now I’m studying at university and sometimes I feel depressed just because it’s hard there, hard to find people around me that would deserve my attention, have the same point of view about life. Sometimes I feel alone again, but now You are in my heart, Sintija. You fill my heart full of love even if I’m only thinking about your amazing attitude. There have been many tough moments after faced anorexia, but You helped me to find my way through these obstacles. If you ever read this, please, text me. I don’t ask anything more in life (except lovely family later in life) – just text me, however – take care cutie and You deserve full respect from me. ❤

Wanna say big thank’s to other few persons who supported me in the way they could. 🙂
It’s possible to win any battle if You have enough strong motivation and right people around. I wish to find the best motivation for everyone.

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80 comments

  1. Wow! I’m so glad you following. I know that today is the day for you. what? Today or soon as you follow you will find the Savior who spoke to you through your Sintija. That’s my hope for you today. All His love in my heart for you, thia 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thia, thank You for visiting my blog. That’s the best award for me – see people reading and maybe learning something from my experience.
      Thank You for those amazing words. God bless You! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anorexia can be the worst illness in the world because it’s often the one where everyone knows the patient is ill except the patient and the one person who does not want the cure is the patient. Yours appears to be a very unusual form of the illness and I’m so pleased something (someone) spurred you on to fight for survival.
    Congratulations on graduating school and going to University, I wish you much success.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. David, thank You for visiting my blog. I appreciate.
      I know my appears were unique, but that mysterious person appeared and made the job perfectly – showing that likely there was a psychological problem with physical and psychological consequences. Now I’m able to repay for it.
      Thank You for wishes, I will try my best not to be only great as a student, but also as a person. Keep in touch, David! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Uldiz. Thank you for sharing your amazing story…what a courageous and strong person you are to have beaten something so difficult. I am so glad that you have joined WordPress…a place where there are so many wonderful people..you will love it here 🙂 Remember, you are not alone, never. You have the universe, the earth and its people. We are all here together, as one huge family. Always. Thank you so much for visiting my blog. Best Wishes. Donna

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Uldis (or is it Uldiz), you are really necessary in this world. You are unique and precious. It is very brave of you to share your pain. I am certain that will help others fight this terrible illness. Keep up the good work!

    A.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Anna! My name is Uldis (Uldiz is a nickname). I’m happy to see You visiting my blog! Thank You. Thank You for those kind words, but now I’m not willing to give up anymore. There are more important things to do than just giving up. One of this is sharing. Sharing is caring, Anna. 🙂
      I hope to see You here more often and maybe even find Your inspiration.
      Have an amazing day!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi there, Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us…. The post is very deep felt and when I was a teenager I used to diet a lot, which led to a very harsh stage of my life… You are very brave to share your struggles…. And I am glad to know that you found that girl who made a difference by then
    I am sure that you are a stronger person right now. Certain things makes us grow, so I guess they might be stepping stones as well.
    All my best wishes. Aquileana 😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello, Aquileana! Your comment came as surprise for sure. A big thank You. This is pesonal. I think personal stories are special type of stories that helps understand the value of healthy life and people around the best. 🙂
      You are amazing, because I have read a lot about diets and know how harmful they can be. But now You are here where You are and I’m 100% sure it will be better and better.
      Take care! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome Martina! Thank’s for coming here. Hope You will come more often and maybe even improve Your life by reading my experience. Best wishes for You as well! 🙂

      Like

    1. Hello, nice to meet You. Those struggles were such a hard mode of life. I have nothing to lose now, even now there are many days – really hard days, I’m ready to improve someone’s life. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Mary! Thank You for visiting my blog! I hope now everything or at least almost everything is okey. But I agree, the other person can make significant difference. 🙂

      Like

    1. Hey, Dilip! Nice to meet You. Thank’s for those kind words, wish You the best of luck. I also read Your profile and interests – it’s nice to know that there are persons with wide view of life and interests. Keep going! 🙂

      Like

    1. Thank’s for those great words! 🙂
      You are unique as well and will achieve everything You want when You will start to believe in Yourself. Everything will be more than fine. Keep Your head up!

      Like

  6. So happy that there was someone to give you hope. Feeling alone and depressed is awful and many of us struggle with that on some level or another.

    I don’t know what your beliefs are but I think that mystery girl was blessing from God to help you get through this difficult period. God works in mysterious ways and the fact that you are here sharing your stories is proof that HE had a great plan for your life.

    Because of your struggles You are now able to motivate others through your story of success.

    Thanks for visiting my blog. If you would like to write a guest post sometime let me know. I love your attitude and believe you can be a huge influence to others for you have certainly motivated me today.

    I wish you success as you keep pressing forward. Be strong, be brave, be well. It would be wonderful if you meet that mystery girl one day…. She certainly was your angel! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey!
      Thank You for stopping by! Nice to meet You!
      Thank You for Your kindness.
      I would like to spend some time reading Your blog more. It’s great and worth visiting. If I can somehow help on Your blog or somewhere else, just let me know. Would love to try to improve Your blog with some post. Anyway, You’re doing great job.
      Would love to meet not only that mysterious girl, but also You with such a great personality. Would love to keep in touch! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, Fatima! It’s such a pleasure to meet You. Big thank You for those sweet words. I visited Your blog and found that one amazing as well as found You amazingly beautiful. Keep in touch and take care! 🙂

      Like

  7. Pleasure. Everyone has their own story to tell, which can help and encourage others

    “Together, one mind, one life (one small step at a time), let’s see how many people (and lives) we can encourage, impact, empower, enrich, uplift and perhaps even inspire to reach their fullest potentials…and strive for and perhaps one sunny day even achieve their wildest dreams.”

    Don’t worry about the world ending today…
    as it’s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ‘little’ New Zealand

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Uldiz, Thank you for sharing this message. I have a daughter battling anorexia. She was in and out of the hospital last year and again this year. She is better now, but it is still a struggle. Your message gives me hope. J.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! Thank You for visiting my blog! Greetings to Your daughter from me. Each situation could be unique as I said I was the first one for doctors, but what I was looking from aside was that people around liked to criticize me. Please, don’t criticize for the way she is living. It’s hard moment for herself. I think it’s difference between criticizing and motivating. Would love to talk to Your daughter, but all You can do is support even if You disagree with her sometimes. She is something You don’t want to pass away.. If it’s not possible for me to talk to her, then I wish You to help her to be the best she can be. Merry Christmas and wonder happens!
      I can give You advanced advice if You are interested in – just let me know. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Nice story fellow! Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope I can touch people’s heart as much as you do! You have an incredible story! Let God guide your way, He is in charge of all 😉 Happy new year!!!!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi Uldis! I read your post and I wanted to tell you that you are very strong, fighting against a problem like anorexia is not easy and I admire you for beating it. I also wanted to tell you that you can count on me. Have a great day 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Hi, very interesting post. First of all best for your graduation. Secondly its nice to have someone in your life who has made such a big impact. I know right now it’s more of a longing for that person, but doesn’t that feeling itself great enough?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello! Would like to graduate university some day. That would be a great achievement. It feels great. Hope You will have a great last day of 2015 and more than great the year of 2016. It’s up to You making that one. 🙂

        Like

  12. Hello Uldis, You recently started following my blog – so a huge ‘thank you’, and I thought I’d take a look at yours. Am moved by your story and your honesty. My sister had anorexia in her teens and spent many months in hospital, here in the UK. The whole family were involved with counselling and follow up for several years. 40 years on, my sister has had no further problems and is leading a full and happy life. I hope you get all the support and encouragement you need as you continue on through life. Best wishes for a full and happy future, Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Anne! Nice to meet You! Thank’s for Your comment here. Thank You for those kind words as well. It’s amazing to hear that about Your sister. Best wishes for her. And I wish the New Year of 2016 full of love and success not only for Your sister, but also for You and all Your family.
      P.S. Your sister deserves life full of love and happiness as well as You do. She could be a great example for people. You can suggest her to write something about her own difficulties if that’s ok for her. Would love to read. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  13. A wonderful Christmas story! We all have a divine purpose that makes life worth living when our darkest days are transformed into the light that shines a way for others. Thank you for bringing your light forward for the purpose to share healing and love. in lak’ech i am another you, Debra

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Happy New Year Uldiz. You’re really great and strong to overcome chellenges in your life. Thanks for sharing every piece of your life stories, and I’m really touched by your words and experience, you’re not alone as we always here with you. Thank you for following my blog. Cheer up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thank’s for visiting my blog! It’s such a pleasure to meet You. Thank’s for those amazing words as well. I’m trying my best every day even it’s both mentally and physically hard. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you so, so much for your vulnerability in this post, it has truly, truly encouraged me. I’m sooo happy you found my blog which had me find you, I am so honored to have you as a virtual blog friend. May God continue to bless you forevermore!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Hey Uldiz! I just got here and the first blog i read was yours. Your profile and especially this story is very inspiring and encouraging. I don’t know you, but I’m happy you are here now… Keep on moving forward in life with the same positive spirit that you hold now…
    Good luck to you for your future! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Hey Uldiz congratulations for fighting anorexia completely!! The other part of the world is fighting hard to go skinny which includes me in the list too and I see you here fighting to get some flesh. Kudos to you Uldiz.Stay healthy and Pink alwayzzzz
    HEALTH IS WEALTH!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Thanks for sharing your story. It took a lot of curage to do that.
    I hope that, one day, it won’t be just Sintija that will keep you finghting with Ana, but that you will love yourself enough so you won’t need others to make you feel necessary in this world.

    Anorexia is not an unkonwn disorder to me, unfortunatelly.
    Looking back at my life, I don’t think I was ever anorexic, but was what’s even worse – pro anna, I wanted to be the one with this ED so I could look thin, but no matter how much weight I’d lose, I was never thin enough.
    It took me years to find a love for myself, one car accident that proved me people around me care, I had to get out of pro-anna community, lose contact with other girls that were like me.
    I am more then fine now, but sometimes, when I read, or if I watch a movie, I have to stop because there are triggers that could lead me back to my old way, and I don’t ever want to be there again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Irena! Thank You for a comment.
      You are doing great job by improving the way You are thinking and even doing something. It’s nice to hear that You tried to lose some weight, but now You know that it’s not a weight that matters and the end… it’s about a love You are talking. Don’t worry about Your weight even if You think it could be less.. focus on Your beautiful view of the life.. Grab those awesome moments and never regret Your past.

      Lots of love,
      Uldis

      Like

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